final is around the corner

heh! final beb final.. september 29 until october 3 ..it's  a war..hahaha.. struggling every single night just want to have a good grades.. and for the sake of my future.. tak tau la mcm mana lagi ni.. esok lepas tu lusa dah final final final dan final eh tak cukup satu..hehehe.final..phewww 5 paper straight no gap.. what can i do? hahaha.. mmg takot kot.. hopefully i can achieve my dream. and hopefully i will achieve my CGPA target.. oh nononno.. hopefully everything will be fine.. may allah ease everything.. allahuakbar..i'm afraid actually because i'm a sinner.. every single i made a mistake. don't know how to avoid it.. try try try and try end up i did it again.. allah.. janganlah kau balas perbuatan dosaku dengan pengajian ku ya allah

hidup jangan angkuh jangan cakap besar

ni la nak cerita siket ni.. ada manusia ni suka sangat dok cemuh orang.. semua orang buat tu salah la kan.. haritu ingat lagi dia retweet apa entah tapi adala kaitan dengan kapel2 dok sweet2 dekat timeline la.. haaa sekali dia yang buat..aku dok perasan jugak. dia dok cakap dia tak suka itu inila orang tu tak kena org ni tak kena.. haaa.. dia yang buat nokkk..itula nak cakap ni..jangan dok cemuh, mengata orang sekali tuhan balik hati kita yang buat jugak.. mana pergi yang tak suka tu..kan dah kena gelak.. depan orang tak kisah belakang hambikk setempek kot kena.. kakakaka..aku gelak je..manusia manusia.. pengajaran yang paling bermakna la ni.. jangan mengata orang jangan dok cemuh orang.,buat hal sendiri lantak orang la nak buat apa tak suka tak yah tengok..kakakaka.. aku memang rasa nak gelak besar je ni.. cakap jangan angkuh kang dah kena..kita ni tak kemana pon.. kalau kita rasa hebat banyak lagi orang lagi hebat,, yang penting hebat tu hanya ALLAH je yang ada tau,,, umphhhh.. heeee

ikhlas

ikhlas tu ibarat semut hitam yang berjalan atas batu hitam dalam malam yang gelap. it's hard to e ikhlas morever when it comes in terms of money. i don't know anyone else but for me it's really hard for me nak rasa ikhlas.. hati tak bersih mcm mana nak ikhlas kan. i know it because i know and i realize what i have done i'm doing and what will im going to do after this. than lie. it's hard for me to resist that habit in my daily conversations. adakah ALLAH SWT sedang menguji saya? when i'm realize that thing i decide not to have a conversations with others because i'm afraid that i will lie to them and i afraid because i know it' a sin. riak.. it all comes together with lie. when will feel riak we will lie. because we want to show what we have or we rumbling create a story about something just want to make people feel proud of us. it's me. i don;t know what to do.. no i know what to do but hati saya sangat kotor dan saya tidak dekat dengan tuhan saya. sampai satu tahap saya tersedar sendiri bila ada benda yang berlaku. Tuhan masih sayangkan saya. He test me to make me realize that i've done something wrong and i feel riak. He loves me. He want me to return to him. it's is hard to resist perasaan bersalah dalam diri. it's hard for me to stay in this kind of feeling. feeling afraid to him feeling hopeless but i have faith in him believe that he will help me guide me no matter what. it's hard for me to istiqamah and i have read once a phrase salah satu sebab mengapa sukar untuk didik diri supaya istiqamah adalah hati yang penuh dengan titik hitam. ALLAH.. it's been many times i try to eliminate the bad habit in me but it's hard for me to istiqamah.. it's only works for a few times and i end up do it again again and again.. it's is true that saya tak jaga solat saya. solat saya adakala di hujung waktu.. tidak tetap.. ya allah i'm writing this as a doa.. as i'm begging you to listen to me.. because i know you are the greater and you know evrything.. guide me Ya allah help me

selamat tinggal kenangan. kamu indah.

this phrase i took from one of the curator of twt_malaysia. baihaqi1989 this week. a man full of words i guess. puitis la kata orang sekarang. it's hard to find this kind of man nowadays, you know. it's not like i adore him, i'm just impressed by his post since i really like phrase yang puitis-puitis ni. if woman we can find various kind of poet, like fynn jamal. a good poet actually but sometimes too outspoken. but i have to feel amazed because she is a brave one. kalo kita kena bash konfem la kan tak boleh nak keluar rumah  maybe?? who knows.. so kudos to her. back to baihaqi i really love this tweet

 "sama-sama sakit, sama-sama gembira, sama sama belajar". tiba masa kita bersurai

what you can learn from that words? perpisahan. maybe perpisahan antara couple, sahabat, keluarga, adik beradik or apa apa je la. what can you describe behind the words?  behind the words. okey that words actually bawak maksud kita kena terima perpisahan. tiba masa kita bersurai in other words tiba masa kita berpisah. terima la perpisahan tu dengan hati yang lapang tangan yang terbuka. live your life to the fullest. tugas kita nak membahagiakan mereka dah selesai, end. so it's just waste of time for us to think, to regret because the future is more important. jangan nanti time tua you akan cakap how fool i am at that time. i'm not supposed  to do that n bla bla.. so move on.. bahagiakan orang yang nak bahagiakan kita. tak payah bising-bising.. go on with your life. let's them with their own assumption or though because kita tak mampu nak kawal pemikiran, perasaan hati orang lain. but we are the owner of our heart. control our heart, our feeling, our mind. move on and you will find life is beautiful as you never expected before.